


Midmorning Naps

by Bomunuf



Series: Harry Potter and What Could Have Been [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Food Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not An Eating Disorder, Sirius Black Raises Harry Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, but be careful, no Remus in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bomunuf/pseuds/Bomunuf
Summary: Two months into moving in with Remus and Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Harry Potter and What Could Have Been [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067549
Comments: 7
Kudos: 228





	Midmorning Naps

Blinking softly Harry woke upon his godfather’s chest. He froze, last he remembered it had been midmorning and they had been reading on the sofa together. He must have fallen asleep and rolled onto the man. At nine he felt much too old to be seeking such comfort. He had stopped getting hugs and cuddles the moment he moved in with his aunt and uncle in Surrey. The pair had thought it ridiculous that the child could be so needy, and when the baby had wailed in the night they had opted for the cry-it-out method, alongside shoving towels under the door of the spare room that he slept in to block out the noise. By the time the toddler was moved into his cupboard under the stairs, he understood that affection was reserved solely for their son, not for freaks or bastards or… or… or….

Harry let out a sob, thinking about the Dursleys still upset him. Which was stupid, he’d moved in with Remus and Sirius two months ago and had be reassured repeatedly that this was his home now. That he did not need to worry about being sent back. 

But thoughts of the closet, beefy hands and an empty stomach were too much to bear, especially when paired with such blatant signs of affection like Sirius falling asleep with Harry on top of him. A hand was running through his hair, and Harry realised that he was crying fully now, hiccupping trying to catch his breath.

“What’s wrong Harry?” Sirius muttered sleepily, moving the two so they were sitting upright. 

Harry shook his head, close to hysterics and unable to speak. Sirius tutted and rubbed his back. 

“Not to worry, let’s think about breathing for now. In and out, that’s it. I’m here, right here,” he said as Harry slowly calmed down.

It had become a common scene. Harry panicking, Remus or Sirius by his side, calming him down with soothing, painfully slow actions and softly spoken words. 

“Better?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” Harry said blushing. “Sorry, and sorry for falling asleep.”

“You can fall asleep on me anytime you like Harry, let’s get something to eat okay?”

Harry nodded standing up. Years with the Dursleys had damaged his ability to gauge his hunger, and an awful and scary side effect of this was sometimes panicking when his subconscious knew he was hungry, even if the little boy couldn’t figure it out himself. 

Sirius reached down and held his hand. Harry blushed again, feeling babyish, but unable to deny this feeling of safety. Sirius had a sixth sense that could tell when he needed touch. Harry felt like he needed to be touched all the time. Even a gentle hand on his back could quieten his thoughts. The first night he’d spent in Remus’ home, the men had tucked him into bed and Sirius had kissed him on the forehead before he left the room. The event had left him frozen; unblinking, and confused. He hadn’t understood then what he was trying to understand now, that Remus and Sirius didn’t want anything from him. They didn’t need anything from him. They just loved him, and they told him so every day.

Sat down at the kitchen table, Sirius placed a bowl of soup and crackers in front of Harry. Even months later, Harry’s stomach struggled with three solid meals a day. But, soup at lunchtime and porridge for breakfast, they had discovered, meant that Harry stayed full and could eat properly at dinner.

Sirius sat down across from him and watched as he ate his food. He waited until he put his spoon down before speaking to him.

“How are you feeling Har? Was it a nightmare?” he tried again.

“No,” Harry looked down at his soup. “Was just thinking and got upset. It’s stupid.”

He had never felt secure around adults, and he was really trying with Remus and Sirius. The two men were so full of love it was hard not to. But it was hard to forget years of not just his aunt and uncles’ abuse, but neighbours who ignored his screams and teachers who dismissed him as disruptive. 

“Eyes up Harry,” Sirius said. Harry jerked his head up. “Good man. Nothing you could think about or say is stupid do you understand? If you don’t want to tell me what’s going on in your head that’s ok, but it will help, and I’d never get mad at you.”

“Promise?” 

“Promise.”

Harry chewed on his bottom lip. 

“I was thinking I was being naughty, sleeping on you like that. I’m too big, and Unc- _they_ always said th-that,” his breathing began to pick up and he stared at the floor again.

“C’mon pup, eyes up for me,” Sirius said, reaching his hand out across the table to Harry. He paused to see if the boy would continue, after a moment passed Sirius went on. “I don’t know what they said to you, but you can sleep wherever you like, whenever you like. I love having cuddles with you and you’re certainly not too big for them. Plus, we’ve years of cuddles to make up for, so any time you need them you let me know.”

Harry grabbed Sirius’ hand and nodded solemnly. The words sounded so sincere, but it was just so so hard to know if he was telling the truth. He had to make the decision to believe him.

“Yeah, ok. Sorry again Sirius.”

“Less of that, you’ve nothing to be sorry for. Now we’d better go do some schoolwork before Moony gets home,” Sirius said, magicking Harry’s bowl into the sink before the boy had a chance to try and do the dishes. 

Harry nodded and rushed out to the study. All he could do was try with his new guardians, and doing his spellings was a good start.


End file.
